Before I used to love how quiet it was at night. You had time just for yourself. There was no one else awake and you could feel like you were the king of the world. You were on top of everything and nothing could possibly beat you. The night gave you wings.
I still love the night, don't get me wrong.
However nowadays I hate it too.
I hate the silence of everyone else sleeping because it reminds me that I should be sleeping too. That I should be able to sleep too. And here I am tossing and turning in bed. All because I wanted to be foolishly brave and not take the medication tonight. I wanted to prove myself that I can still sleep.
Unfortunately I can't. And that's sad.
I fall for my own lie time after time.
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